


I'm fine

by Fandoms_take_the_wheel



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: M/M, Newt (maze runner) - Freeform, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post Maze Runner, Thomas (maze runner) - Freeform, out of the maze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4645155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_take_the_wheel/pseuds/Fandoms_take_the_wheel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After they all get out of the Maze, Newt struggles to cope with everything that he's been through</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm fine

**Author's Note:**

> Crap bio but please give it a chance? Xx

"How are you doing today?"  
Oh god, it's such a simple question. I know how I'm supposed to answer. I'm supposed to say 'I'm fine, how are you?'  
But I can't bring myself to lie.  
"I'm just...sorta..kind of...okay" I manage to choke out.  
She doesn't believe me. I don't blame her. I wasn't very convincing. I never am.  
But just like every other Thursday, she nods at my response, a worried look set upon her face and as always she leans forward slightly, saying in a hushed, kind tone  
"Newt you let me know if you ever need to talk, please?"  
I nod but never do.  
~  
There are so many thoughts running through my mind and they never really stop. Everything swirling around. Never stopping.  
I try to focus on work but that never helps, it just adds more to the mess of thoughts.  
Most of my thoughts are about the maze, about the Gladers that made it, the Gladers that didn't...my friends that didn't make it... I think about Tommy a lot too, my kind, caring, loyal boyfriend that's been helping me through every step if the way.  
~  
I know I'm a mess, I mean how could I not?  
I'm working on it though.  
Maybe not in a normal way, but all the same, I'm working on it and I am getting better...slightly.  
It's the small things that Tommy and I pay attention to most, the small things that the average observer can't tell the difference between.  
~  
I don't tell anyone I'm proud of my progress because altogether it still leaves me broken.  
~  
Some days are good, others not so much and that's just the way it is.  
Some days are good. I'm better. everything's better. No shaking, no attacks, nothing. But honestly I'm still not good and I don't think I ever will be.  
Some days I shake and I don't realize until Tommy comes up to me, holding my hands, smothering the quakes, pressing small kisses to each hand, trying to make them stop.  
Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  
~  
All the Gladers who made it from the Maze have suffered as much as I have yet here I am suffering from things I have never even heard of before we all got out.  
I feel guilty.  
They all focus on me, trying to help me get better and take care of me but that just leaves no one caring for them.  
So, instead of talking about the nightmares, instead of talking about the panic attacks and the shaking, I tell them I'm fine.  
I tell Tommy I'm fine.  
And eventually if I say it enough, it might just come true.


End file.
